Aroused

An instantaneous jolt startled his senses as the all too familiar chime resounded.  Sneaking a quick peek, he knew it had to be her.  His heart began to race as he realized she’d not only sent a picture this time but a video as well.  It took every bit of his willpower not to rush upstairs and have a listen.  She seemed to know exactly how to get into his head in an overwhelming and compelling way.  His mind begged him to resist her, and yet his cock had already begun to swell.  The picture she’d sent was invading the last reasonable parts of his mind, and he knew he had to have her.  With a quick glance around, he figured he had a good ten minutes before his wife got home.  With the kids downstairs, it meant there was plenty of time to have a bit of fun.

It was strange to him how she could always turn him on so quickly.  Nobody had ever managed to cause his body to react like this and make him feel this way.  The mere thought of her caused him to react in ways that seemed so foreign to him.  She left him feeling exhilarated and sometimes even dizzy.  She was intoxicating, and he could never get enough of her.  As soon as he reached his room, he pulled out his phone once more.  She was simply breathtaking, and in some ways, he had trouble understanding her insatiable desire for him.  But there she was, day after day, reminding him of just how much she adored him; telling him all the reasons why she couldn’t resist his sexy charms.

With a quick message back, asking if she was still there, he waited as patiently as he could.  Without fail she responded, and it fascinated him how she always seemed to be there, vying for his time, eager to please his every need and craving.  Her sweet response caused his cock to grow even harder, and he hoped he’d lure her devious side out as well.  Fully aroused, he decided to show her just what she was doing to him, and so with his hard throbbing cock in hand, he began to stroke himself.  Her reaction to his recording sent a flood of lusty thoughts straight to his brain, and he started to imagine all that she was likely doing to herself on the other end of the phone.  He knew those thoughts alone would send him over the edge.  She somehow managed to make him cum every single time.

He could always feel her, giving herself over to him more and more each time they played.  She was passionate and intense and completely beholden to him.  The connection they had was undeniable, and the cum dripping from the tip of his cock was further proof.  He knew he’d never fully understand how their bond had formed so suddenly, and at this point, he didn’t care.  She had given herself over to him, told him that she was his and his alone, and he felt the depth of her words resonating in his own heart and soul.  She belonged to him now, and his entire being finally understood what his mind still couldn’t seem to comprehend.  She was his, his to own, and the thought caused a sly smile to form across his face as the words, “Honey I’m home…” echoed from downstairs.

© C.C. Bloom 2018

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Long distance relationships

Long distance relationships are all I’ve ever known.  From the time I was very little, my family and I always moved around.  Looking back, the longest I’ve ever lived anywhere has only been about nine years.  Because I’ve always moved around, it has always been hard for me to make close friendships and keep them.  Many people just don’t do well with long distance relationships, and most can’t seem to handle the difficulties that come with them.  For me, these types of relationships have become the norm, and I think maybe that’s why I struggle to have regular relationships with the people who live around me.  I just don’t know how to do face to face type friendships.  I find it awkward and very uncomfortable to be in social situations.  I absolutely loathe parties and most types of social gatherings because I get so nervous that I won’t fit in.  In recent years I have gotten a bit more relaxed because I’m starting to feel like I just don’t care what anyone thinks of me anymore.  So my attitude has sort of helped me get past some of that anxiety that I normally get when I am in a large group of people.  Nonetheless, I still avoid social gatherings like the plague, and unless I have someone with me that I’m very close to, I won’t go at all.

Even during the first 18 months of my marriage, I was kept apart from my husband.  He was gone on business, and there was nothing I could do about it.  So even in that relationship, this has been the norm for me.  I don’t think most people can quite understand what that’s like.  But for me, I suppose I have come to accept it the best I can because it’s really all I’ve ever known.  I think I would love to see what it’s like to have a regular relationship with someone who is always around and spend years together without a break, but then again, I’m not so sure how that would be.  I’ve gotten so used to living on my own, and so in many ways, I do enjoy my freedom.

The hardest part for me is that when I do want to have someone around to kiss and cuddle with, I don’t have that.  And so to see other people with their loved ones surrounding them, sort of makes me feel left out sometimes.  Maybe that’s another reason why I don’t like social gatherings.  It really makes me uncomfortable when everyone else has someone with them, and then there I am, off in the corner all alone, and I just feel like I stick out like a sore thumb.  People tend to come up to me often, and try to offer me sympathy when they notice I’m alone, and that just makes it even worse.  I must look like a pitiful sight, and I hate it when people feel sorry for me.  I don’t want people to pity me.  I chose this sort of life, and I have to live with the repercussions of it.  If I really wanted out of it, I would have done something about it a very long time ago.  But I chose to stay because this is all I know and it’s familiar to me.

I have developed two very close long distance relationships in recent years, and I’m not surprised by either one when I really think about it.  Having long distant relationships is what I’m used to, and this is what feels right to me.  This week has been full of ups and downs, and so I needed to take a step back from writing, and that’s why I haven’t been around as much.  I finally told George how I was feeling about him, and I think he was a little surprised by just how deep my feelings are for him now.  I began to feel like I needed to let him know just how serious my feelings are because I didn’t want him to think that I am just playing a game with him.  I feel like he has become the one person in my life that I am the closest to right now.  After I told George how I felt this past week, I wasn’t sure if he was going to stick around.  I felt it overwhelmed him and I almost regretted telling him.  But then I started thinking about it, and I realized that if I can’t be honest with him about how I feel than I really have no business being in a relationship with him in the first place.  I still think he’s uncertain about how he feels about me telling him that I love him, and he isn’t really in a position to say it back to me.  He has a wonderful life aside from me, with a great family, and I think this just sort of adds more stress to his life because it probably feels like an added complication to him.

Further complicating George’s life is the last thing that I wanted to do, I never wanted to overwhelm him or make him feel bad that he can’t reciprocate the same feelings towards me.  All I know is that he means the world to me and I honestly don’t know what I’d do without him these days.  He makes me feel accepted and cared for and makes me smile more than anyone else I know.  I want to keep him for as long as he lets me.  And I’m choosing him over anyone else right now because I do have such strong feelings for him.   I’m not living with any disillusions though because I know we can’t ever have anything more than a long distance relationship.  Still, I don’t care about any of that since this is after all what I’m used to, and I doubt that will ever change.  I think we all have to find ways to make our lives work the best way we can, and I’m hoping George will keep me in his life for a very long time, maybe even forever.

© C.C. Bloom 2018

Feeling desperate

I suddenly have this intense desire to be with a woman right now. In fact, if a woman walked into my house at this very moment and wanted to be with me, I doubt I’d say no. I have no idea where this is coming from since I’ve never been attracted to women before. Although, I did meet a woman today with whom I felt an instant connection with, and so maybe that’s why? Perhaps I’m just feeling desperate for companionship right now because I think man or woman, I’d let just about anyone have their way with me right now. It’s so hard going months and months without sex, but what’s even harder is not having another adult to hug at the end of the day and say I love you to. I crave that connection more than anything. I think I was born for this, to have someone in my life to love and take care of and to be exactly what they need when they need it. My biggest desire is to please people and to be there for them. It’s almost like my own happiness depends on it. I think all of this stems from my upbringing. My mother would only show me approval and acceptance if I were doing everything exactly as she wanted. It was the only way I could achieve the love I so desperately needed from her. So I think I still do that, I give everything I can, just to be loved. And you know what? I’ve discovered it’s still never enough. And I still don’t understand how you can love someone with all your heart and soul and not feel even a smidge of it in return. And I think this will be what eventually kills me in the end; it won’t be anything else, just a very broken heart.

© C.C. Bloom 2018

Utter abandon

There I was, left blindfolded in the corner of an old dusty room.  Wearing nothing but black lacy panties and a bra to match.  And as I stood there in that corner, shivering because of that old drafty room, a mink blanket was suddenly wrapped around me, and I was carried over to the bed.  I knew what he was after, and I squirmed in giddy anticipation.  Giggles escaped me as he began to gingerly unwrap me from my warm cocoon.  And I held tight to the edges of the blanket, making him work extra hard to get it off of me.  As I continued to resist, he pulled me closer, his lips quieting my halfhearted pleas for release.  And I laid there in utter abandon, as the warmth from his lips spread through me like wildfire.  Giggles now stifled, passion permeated every square inch of my body.  I was lost in a moment that was worth a thousand sunsets, and I never wanted it to end.

© C.C. Bloom 2018

Her

Tilting his head back and closing his eyes, he began to feel her wetness engulf his thick hard shaft. Her pussy was so tight, soft and warm, and with every slippery thrust he felt himself building; his climax imminent as she moaned his name. His fantasy was suddenly interrupted, by a strong sense that someone was watching him. Looking around the room he could see that nobody was there, and yet he still couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being watched. With his hand covered in his own sticky wetness, he let himself drift away once more. It was always her that he pictured in his mind. She wasn’t his to own, but in his mind, she still belonged to him, and his encounters with her had become familiar engagements. With his hard throbbing cock in hand, he began stroking faster, imagining her lying there, begging him to pound her harder. The sound of her hungry cries pleading him to fill her up was all he needed to hear, and he could no longer hold back. Slowly opening his eyes, he could see just what she did to him, the sticky translucent mess was gratifying proof. Lying there in a daze, sort of dizzy from the thrill, he felt the sense of being watched once more. Turning his head to where his senses were leading him, he suddenly froze in place. Exotic green eyes stared back at him from the window. It was a face like no other, full of desperation and hunger. He watched in stunned silence as her glistening tongue slid across perfectly formed blood red lips. Believing he must be dreaming, he blinked his eyes a few times and shook his head. But there she was, still staring back, a face of exquisite beauty, not seeming human but something else altogether different.

© C.C. Bloom 2018

Missing you…

Here you are once more, plastered against the walls of my mind.  I think I’ve finally memorized just about every line on your face.  I can envision those perfectly formed lips of yours, melting against my own.  The very thought makes my own lips tingle, as I imagine the warmth of yours.  Your lust filled eyes always spark such desire within me, igniting the kind of passion that I only ever dreamed could exist.  You’ve somehow managed to captivate my mind and my heart, and as the day draws to a close, I miss you even more.  I know it’s probably just wishful thinking, but I do believe that wishes can come true, and if this is the beginning of love, I hope it never ends.

© C.C. Bloom 2018

Titty Fuck

I’m sitting here in my living room right now, imagining you standing in front of me, with that all too familiar devilish grin upon your face. You slowly draw the zipper down on your jeans, inching towards me, with your hard throbbing cock almost bursting through your boxers. And I’m leaning towards you, my lips pressed against your hardness, feeling the wetness of your pre-cum through the thin fabric. I watch in eager anticipation as you pull your cock out, and I gasp at the sight of just how erect you really are. You start rubbing the tip of yourself against my mouth, and I circle the head of you with my tongue. Your eyes close, and a look of pure ecstasy forms across your face.  Just as I begin to try to take you deeper, a moan of pleasure escapes your lips, and you suddenly pull away. The tip of you glistening and saturated with the combination of your wetness and my own. My mouth begins to salivate at the sight, and then you begin sliding your cock down my chin, towards the top button of my blouse. I sense what you’re after, and begin to undo my buttons, but you grab my hands, preventing me from going any further.  You instead slide my blouse just off my shoulders, your tongue running along my exposed flesh, gently nipping the soft, supple skin as your mouth works its way down towards the opening of my blouse.  I hear a slight change in your breathing as you suddenly bite down, ripping my blouse clean off my chest. I gasp in surprise and begin to feel your warm wet cock, sliding further down, right between my breasts. My nipples are hard and ready to be teased by your tongue.  Another moan of pleasure escapes you, a much deeper sound this time as if you’re on the verge of release. And I squeeze my breasts tightly around your cock, thoroughly enjoying the feel of your hardness as you slide up and down between them. Your groans become louder and more distinct, full of lust and a desperate desire to orgasm.  Finally, an explosion of hot sticky cum shoots across my face, drizzling down upon my awaiting tongue.  A thoroughly satisfied sigh escapes me, knowing that you’ve experienced the most profound form of satisfaction possible.  And I allow you to recover just a few minutes before I have my way with you once again.

© C.C. Bloom 2018

Reality

Today, reality sort of settled in, and from the time I woke up, I sensed her there.  Reality likes to remind me of all the things I can never have, and all the things I believe I never will.  She gets right up under my skin and takes advantage of me all the time, trying to bring me down by any means possible.  She knows how much I love Luke, and yet the entrance to that road is blocked with armed guards ready to draw their weapons if I get too close.  And so she reminded me of that this morning and flaunted his latest email to me as a testament of exactly that.  And then she reminded me of George, and just how sexy he is and all the naughty things that he and I will never get a chance to do.  And I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and tell reality just to go to hell.  But she’s still there, giving me grief in every possible way.  And so she forced me to wear a sign today, which very plainly said, “Keep Out” And one of my friends seemed to notice it, and felt discouraged because of it I think.  I feel so awful now for letting that happen.  And so here I am, it’s late afternoon, and I’m just sort of feeling sorry for myself because I let reality rule my life.  And that’s the thing; I can’t get rid of her.  She’s a burden I know I’ll have my whole life.   Just wish I could somehow escape to dreamland since I know that’s a place she could never reside.

© C.C. Bloom 2018

Unexpected blessings

Have you ever been struggling to find exactly what you want and need and then it just sort of falls into your lap one day?  Well, that’s sort of what I feel happened to me today, and it caught me off-guard a little bit.  The thing is, I’ve had this friend who’s a writer, (I’ll call him Eric) and over the last few years we’ve kept in touch, but never really had any in-depth conversations.  However, in recent days, Eric and I have been messaging each other more often and keeping in touch on a daily basis.

Now what’s really great about Eric, is that he lives near me and we also have a lot of the same interests.  Our conversations are always lighthearted and fun, and I feel like we just sort of “get” each other.  And after messaging him over the last few weeks, we both realized that we wanted to meet each other finally.  So we decided that today would be a great day to get together, and we met at the park.

Like I thought, it was very easy to converse with Eric.  I didn’t feel awkward around him in the least, and it felt as if we’d already met before.  Something unexpected happened though, and I don’t think I was quite prepared for that.  I’d always felt a sort of brotherly kind of vibe from Eric, and even though we’ve shared very personal and private things with each other, I had never really felt anything more than a close friendship forming between us.  And I think that’s what made the decision to meet with him today so easy because I didn’t feel like there would be any uncomfortable emotional stuff going on.

So anyway, back to what I was saying.  There was something that happened today that I didn’t expect, and it happened as soon as he walked up to me and hugged me.  It wasn’t a spark of desire that often hits like a lightning bolt, and it wasn’t a stomach full of butterflies that can leave you nauseous with your head spinning.  But what did happen instead, was this overwhelming feeling of belonging, and the word “home” seemed to pop into my mind.

We ended up sitting down at a picnic bench and chatted for over an hour.  The conversation was casual and easy, and I enjoyed the look in his eyes every time he smiled.  He is the kind of person that when he smiles, you can feel the warmth and happiness flowing out of it.  And I couldn’t help but start to feel an attraction to him growing as we sat there and talked.  I don’t think I was prepared for that part, even though I’ve always thought he was good looking.  And the feeling has me sort of intrigued now, wondering if he felt it too.

When it was time for him to go, I hugged him again, and I just sort of melted up against him while that feeling of belonging washed over me again.  I think I could have quite literally just stood there and hugged him all day, and when we finally started to step away from each other, his hands sort of slid off my waist and there was something so thrilling about that.  I looked up at him after our embrace, and he had this look in his eyes that seemed to scream “Kiss me,” and it was hard to resist the urge.  I know I could have spent all day with him, and I know I would have enjoyed every minute.  And so as much as I just really want a “friend” to hang around with and do stuff with, I’m also enjoying this unexpected attraction to him.

The thing is, even though Eric is probably one of the best suited for me because of just how much alike we are and our slew of common interests, he is also in a relationship.  And because of that, I feel like I need to be very careful about protecting his relationship with his significant other.  I can see how happy is with her by the things he says, and so I know for now we can only be friends.  And who knows, maybe that’s all we ever will be, and perhaps that’s for the best.  Sometimes having more with someone can just lead to ruined friendships, and I certainly don’t want to jeopardize what we have.  So this will be interesting to see how things go.  And right now, I feel like an amazing blessing has just sort of plopped right down into my life, and maybe this is the friend I’ve been hoping for all along.

© C.C. Bloom 2018

Feels like home…

I’ve been choosing who to follow quite carefully this time around, and if I’ve followed your blog, it’s because I love your writing and want to keep reading more.  On my other blogs, I generally do a follow for a follow, but this time around I wanted to have my reader full of things that I actually want to read.  There are just too many people who reblog all day long, and some who post twenty times a day.  When they do that, my reader gets filled with a bunch of crappy posts that have little to no meaning.

Anyway, I’ve only been here on this new blog a little over a week now, and I just want to thank all of you who have been following me and reading me.  I feel like I have had more interaction with the twenty-plus of you than I have ever had on my other blogs where I have much larger followings.  So thank you for welcoming me here and for all your supportive words of encouragement and advice.  I feel like I’ve finally found a place that feels like home.  Thanks so much for the very warm welcome.  I look forward to reading more from all of you.  – C.C. xo

© C.C. Bloom 2018

Loneliness

It finally got to me yesterday.  I’d been trying so hard to ward it off, and not be consumed by it, to turn my back on it and sweep it under the rug.  And yet loneliness finally grabbed hold of me yesterday and wouldn’t let go.  Emotions are powerful things, and we never know when a bad one might suddenly engulf us.  Because of the life that I’m living, always separated from my husband because of his job, I find it very hard to stay happy and content.  Maybe if I had a support system here where I live, I wouldn’t feel so isolated all the time.  But I don’t have any of that, and I honestly feel like a prisoner who’s in solitary confinement most days.

Anyway, this overwhelming feeling caused me to say some things to my husband last night that I fear I may likely regret.  One of them being that I would like to be able to have someone else in my life while he is gone on business.  He had a good job here but chose to take another job which keeps him away from me all the time.  So I feel like because he decided to do that, I shouldn’t have to be the one to suffer here all alone.  He chose to leave me, for a job that pays a lot less, and so it isn’t even helping us financially.  And he has the freedom to do whatever he pleases and frequently gets together with his friends where he’s at, while I’m stuck at home taking care of everything so that he doesn’t have to worry about any of it.

So last night, I told him that I want to look for someone else.  It could be another six years that he has this job which keeps him away from me for about six months at a time.  And seeing him for two weeks at a time during those few and far between visits is just not enough for me.  I need companionship, and it’s killing me not to have that.  I don’t even know how to go about finding someone else these days.  I’ve never looked at a dating site before, and since I am still married, I’m not sure how that would even go.  I just want to spend my life with someone, not look for a fuck buddy, and I’m afraid that’s likely all a dating website would really lead me to.

Anyway, he didn’t get mad at me, and he told me to just be happy and do what I want.  Which to me translates to… “Ok, go do what you want because it makes no difference to me.”  I guess I expected at least a little resistance, but if he’s willing to let me go so easily, then what does that even mean?  It almost makes me feel like I don’t even want to go down this road looking for someone else.  I’d probably just find someone else who is exactly the same, someone who always puts their goals and ambitions ahead of me.  So today, I just feel sort of empty and hopeless, and I don’t think I want to even think about the possibility of finding anyone else.  I feel like I’m just better off completely alone.  And maybe I’m learning that loneliness isn’t such a bad thing after all.

© C.C. Bloom 2018

Sexual explorations

Over the past few days, I’ve been speaking with my husband who is away on business once again.  The last time he was at home, we really started to explore our sex life more than we normally do.  And since then, he has been talking about taking things further when he’s home next time.  We never make sex tapes (I know I’m showing my age calling them tapes.  Lol…) and we did make several of those while he was at home this time.  I’m the one who suggested that we make them, and at first, he didn’t seem too eager to go along with it.  But now that he’s gone again, and has those videos of us with him, he can’t seem to watch them enough.  It’s almost like it’s turned him into a whole different person.

He was a little more aggressive with me this time when he was home, more so than he usually is, and it made all the difference for me.  I’ve begun to realize just how much I enjoy pain mixed with pleasure.  It’s not something I ever really expected that I’d like, but now that he’s trying some of that with me, I’m enjoying every minute of it.  I think he’s finally noticing my erogenous zones (And thank God for that because it’s only been 25 years of trying to get him to realize).  😉  My inner thighs and neck, are the places I love to be touched the most, and not lightly either.  If he squeezes my neck or pushes down really hard on my inner thighs, I nearly orgasm on the spot.

I think my favorite position this time, was when he was on top of me, pounding my pussy, with his hands squeezing my throat.  The feeling is just so much more intense when he’s holding me down like that.  I’m honestly amazed that I even enjoy it so much.  When I’ve watched porn in the past, I always thought it was strange when people would let someone choke them.  But now I know why it’s so enjoyable, and he couldn’t seem to do it hard enough to me.  I wanted more and more of it, but after a while, he did become afraid that he might hurt me, and so he backed off a little bit.  It was a bit disappointing at that point, but I think he’s afraid to push the boundaries too far, and so he’s setting limits for himself so that he doesn’t get carried away and actually do something he might regret.

Since I’m still having a hard time connecting with him emotionally (and if you read yesterday’s post, you now know why), I think I’ve been focusing more on the physical aspects of our relationship instead.  We’re so good together when we do have sex, and the only issue is his frequent bouts of impotence, which we did talk about while he was here last time, and it does seem to be a mental thing for him more than anything else.  His doctor long ago recommended a cock ring, and so we have tried that in the past, and it did seem to help quite a bit.  I always feel like he thinks he’s going to break me.  It’s as if he thinks I’m too fragile to play with roughly.  But it’s not just him, every guy I’ve ever been with has treated me like I’m made of china, and that I might just break if they aren’t careful enough.  I just don’t get it… I am very petite at only 130 lbs, and I’m only 5’ 3,” so I am fairly short, but I used to be able to carry 60 lbs of gear on a twelve-mile road march when I was in the military.  So I’m definitely not going to break easily.

Anyway, if there were one thing I could change about my husband, I would definitely make him more of a dominant male.  But you really can’t turn someone into something they’re not.  We also had a conversation yesterday about having a threesome.  He really seems to love the idea, especially the part about watching me with someone else.  He doesn’t care if it’s a girl or a guy, but he did say he’s leaning more towards a guy because he knows how much I fantasize about having two cocks inside me.  But he also said he’d loved to see me eat a woman’s pussy, so that’s a consideration too.  I find it funny that all of a sudden he seems to want all of these things.  I merely had to bring up the idea of it before he left this last time, and ever since then, he can’t seem to stop thinking about any of it.  I think I’ve unleashed his devilish side, and I’m kind of excited to see where all of this goes.

© C.C. Bloom 2018

Confessions…

During a recent visit with my husband, we sort of hashed out some things that we both want going forward.  He and I have been through so much over the last few years, and there have been times when I wondered if we would both weather the storm.  It’s never been an issue of us getting along.  We have always been a very fun-loving couple, and easy going with each other.  For the most part, he lets me do what I want, and I let him do the same.  We rarely argue about anything, in fact, I can’t even remember the last time we did.  It’s just been such a long time.  But there was an instance a few years back that changed everything, and it broke the deep emotional bond that I had with him.

Since then, I haven’t been able to see him in the same light.  I could only ever imagine before that moment what it felt like to have a broken heart.  But after his confession to me, I knew for the first time in my life exactly what it felt like to have your heart ripped out of your chest and stomped on.  It was the pressure from our oldest daughter that caused him to finally crack.  He knew if he didn’t confess to me, that she was going to.  Apparently, the secret had gone on years and years, and it seemed there were quite a few people in our lives who knew what happened, but nobody ever told me.  I had always wondered why some of my closest friends had walked away from me.  I had one friend in particular who I was friends with for years, and yet then all of a sudden one day, she walked away for good and never told me why.

I now believe it was all tied to the secret that he had been keeping from me.  Apparently, the church knew about it, and our closest friends knew about it, but everyone seemed to think that I should be spared from hearing it.  And to some extent they were completely right, I wish now I had never found out.  The issue had been settled, counseled through, and the door had been closed tight on the subject with the key thrown away.  But after my daughter graduated high school, she had people pressuring her to tell me, and so she prompted my husband to finally confess.

On the day he came to tell me, I could see he was quite nervous.  I knew it had to be something really terrible because he was literally shaking in his boots.  I felt sorry for him before he even told me because I could tell it was eating him up inside.  When the words finally spilled out, I sat there unable to hardly speak.  It was the worst thing he could have possibly confessed to me, and in that moment, I’m sure he could actually hear the sound of my heart shatter into a million pieces.  Nothing had prepared me for that moment.  I was completely blindsided.  This man I had been married to for 21 years had just revealed to me that he had sexually abused our oldest daughter when she was a little girl.  The fact that he had kept it from me all those years made it even more difficult.  He had gone through a complete transformation since the early days of marriage, but none of that mattered to me.  He had lied, he had hurt my baby, (and I say mine because she is his stepdaughter), and he had completely destroyed my perfect image of him.

I tried to forgive him that day, as it seemed everyone else already had years before.  And over the course of that year, I really did think I could put it all behind me and just forgive him.  The problem was, forgiving him wasn’t the issue, it was trying to forget what he did that wouldn’t leave my mind.  I think I was able to push those thoughts of overwhelming disappointment and sadness away for about a year before they came welling up to the surface again.  And that was when I ended up meeting Luke, and he became my saving grace.

Luke had the face of an angel as far as I was concerned after what my husband had done.  And I fell hard and fast for him.  And even though we were never in a physical relationship because of the distance between us, I was emotionally attached to him more than I’d ever been to anyone in my entire life.  He had somehow found me when I was at the lowest point of my marriage when I didn’t quite know how to move forward or where to turn.  I felt ashamed for still being with my husband after what he had done but felt I couldn’t just up and leave my marriage after 22 years.  And so I began to feel I could handle things easier if I just let Luke consume my heart and mind.  It made it so much easier to be with my husband when I had Luke telling me that it would all turn out and that I’d be ok.  I leaned on him for so much support that first year I knew him.  I confided everything to him, and he is still the one person I rely on the most for encouragement and support.

My husband eventually found out about Luke and has never once blamed me for the relationship I have with him.  I don’t mention Luke to him very much because I know he understands exactly why I ended up with Luke in the first place, and he knows he’s to blame for that.  I’m still very much in love with Luke, even though we don’t talk nearly as much these days as our schedules and the time difference from where he lives, don’t allow for us to speak as often as we’d like.  But I take what I can get from Luke, even the most minuscule of moments can brighten my entire week.  He’s the only person who has ever been able to have that effect on me from the very first moment I met him, and I know I will cherish him always.

© C.C. Bloom 2018

Cravings…

Do you ever feel such an attraction to someone that every thought you have is mostly consumed by that one person?  Well, I often do, and it sort of makes me feel blissfully happy when it happens, as long as those same thoughts and feelings are reciprocated.  Today I have George on my mind.  Of course this isn’t an uncommon occurrence, as I would say I think about him more than almost anyone else these days.  George and I have this crazy, wild, passionate thing going, and I can never get enough of him.  And I know that since it’s this hot between us long distance, that it would be even more so if he were actually here.  He makes me think of things and desire things that I never thought I wanted.  He fuels my imagination by all the extremely naughty and sexy things he says, and I find him to be quite addictive.

I think if he were here right now, he’d likely push me onto the bed, and start off with a long lasting passionate kiss.  The kind that causes that warm molten lava feeling to course through your veins, consuming every square inch of your body.  But then I know it would suddenly get desperate and I imagine there would be buttons popping and clothes ripping, all in an attempt to finally give ourselves over to each other.  We’d fall hard and fast, and there would be no going back because once you have that kind of heated passion, it fully consumes you and becomes like an addictive drug.  The need for him is already so strong and the things he wants and desires for me are so deliciously tempting.  I believe that there is always a chance that life can take you down an unexpected road, and I wonder if our paths will ever actually cross over into real life.  I’m not ready to give up the possibility of that happening, because I’m a firm believer that just about anything can happen if we want it badly enough.  And for now, my fantasies of him are enough to keep me satisfied, but I certainly do crave more.

© C.C. Bloom 2018

On Friendship…

Today I want to talk a little bit about friendship and some of the things that I’ve experienced over the years.  To begin with, I’ve never had very many close friendships over the course of my life.  I’ve just always been a very shy, quiet person, and really never had the social skills to know how to make friends easily.  I was kept very sheltered as a child and locked away in my room most days as my mother didn’t feel it was safe enough for me to go outside.  I suppose that’s why I do so well on my own now, since I experienced so much isolation as a child.  Being alone now just seems like a rather normal thing for me.  And yet even though I grew up that way, there are still days when I long for a friend that I can just completely be myself with and do things with, and I often wonder if I will ever have that.

I tend to get along more with men than women.  I’m not really sure why that is, but I have a sneaky suspicion that it has to do with the relationship that I have with my mother, and just how disconnected her and I have always been.  I have the same disconnection with my sister too.  And yet I have always been very close to my brother and step-dad.  I also had some great friends when I was in the military, but we’ve all sort of gone our own separate ways, and I don’t really keep in contact with any of them much anymore.  It’s a real shame too because those were probably some of the closest friends I’ve ever had in my life.  People in the military seem to form bonds that are extra special; it’s almost like your friends become as close as brothers and sisters to you.  A few years ago I had the opportunity to reunite with a few of my old Army buddies, and it didn’t feel like any time had passed between us, even though it had been over twenty years since we had all seen each other.  Sometimes I wish I could go back to those simpler days and give it another go.  And yet when I look back, I also realize that those were some of the most difficult times I’ve ever lived through.  So it’s probably a good thing I don’t have to relive those years.

Anyway, now that I’m older, I’m longing for a close friend again.  Someone who lives nearby and who will love me the way only a true friend can.  Someone who will be there for me when I need them and be the kind of friend that’ll support and encourage me.  I’d like to find someone who I can get together with on a regular basis, and just enjoy doing things with them.  I don’t know if it’s possible to find someone like that these days, especially a guy friend.  It becomes a little more difficult to have that kind of friend, especially after you’re married.  I’d sure like to find one though, and I’ve even spoken to my husband about it because he is gone the majority of the time, and he thinks it would be good for me too.  So at least I have his blessing in my quest to find someone.  I know it’s likely not going to happen unless I start opening up more to the people around me.  But it’s a dream I have always had, and I think I’m still allowed to dream, even at my age.  I hope so anyway…  😉

© C.C. Bloom 2018

Connections…

Lately, I’ve been thinking about our connections to other people.  I’m a very spiritual person, and a lot of the time I tend to feel a very close bond and connection to certain people before I’ve even gotten to really know them.  I’m also a Christian, and that might surprise some of you by the things I’ve already shared on this blog.  Many people in the Christian community would probably call me a hypocrite or a lukewarm Christian, and I’d probably agree with them to some extent.  But I’m not entirely sure how I would classify myself, to be honest.

I believe in God, I believe that Jesus died for my sins, and I believe that one day I will go to heaven because of my belief in him.  But I also know I probably disappoint God in a million different ways each and every day.  Does that bother me?  In many ways yes, but I’ve tried my whole life to be somebody I’m not, and so I just feel like I need to explore all that I am, and all that I know I would like to be.  I don’t believe God will just disown me for whatever I may or may not do.  He just isn’t that way.  And I’m thankful that I believe in a God who I know can forgive me for anything I do, especially the things that I know he isn’t necessarily happy about.  He made me flawed and imperfect, but I still believe he loves me regardless of anything I say or do.

Anyway, so back to my thoughts on connections with other people.  I have been in a couple of relationships with other men besides my husband in recent years.  None have been physical relationships, as these men haven’t lived nearby.  Both the men I’ve seriously connected with are writers like me, and I find great interest in them because we share that common likeness.  But the most interesting thing to me is, is just how close I feel to one of these men on a spiritual level, and just how drawn I was to the other one from the very beginning.

Several years ago, after nearly breaking up with my husband over a confession he made to me, I ended up with a very different view of him, and suddenly I found myself unhappy and needing more than he could possibly give me.  And by crazy chance during that very same time, I happened to meet the first man, who has become the closest friend I have ever had.  The connection I have to this man is truly uncanny, and I never expected to fall in love with someone besides my husband.  For the sake of anonymity, I’ll call him Luke.

Luke and I have known each other for years now, and it’s as if he and I know things about each other, that we couldn’t possibly know.  I will often have visions about him and then ask him about them later, and it’s strange how the details of my visions are always so accurate.  He seems to know when I’m doing things that I shouldn’t and calls me out on those things every single time.  He is a very strong Christian himself and seems to have the gifts of prophecy, knowledge, and wisdom.  I’m blown away by some of the things he tells me, and yet he seems to discount most of the gifts he has as unimportant.

I feel like Luke and I have this unbelievably strong bond that just can’t be broken, although there have been numerous times where he has tried to walk away from me.  The problems we have, stem from his loyalty to his significant other, and even though they aren’t very compatible, he knows he chose her, and so he tries to remain loyal to her.  I understand that he hates feeling unfaithful to her, and so I have tried to be patient with him during the times when he has had to walk away.  Because of the bond we share, even during those times when he has disappeared, I could still feel his emotions from afar, and it really had a dire effect on my emotional state, to the point that I did feel suicidal at times.

Luke still affects me emotionally, as I can always feel when he’s having a bad day or struggling in some way.  It’s an overwhelming feeling at times, and there have been moments that it’s been so overwhelming to me, that I’ve wanted to break free and just end our relationship altogether.  But I know deep down that I can never walk away from him.  No matter what, my soul will always be tied to him.  I never believed in soul mates before him, but I do believe that he is mine.  And I think that’s why I love him so much and how I can easily forgive him when he does end up doing things that hurt me.

The second man, I’ll call him George, I haven’t known for as long, but I felt an instant connection to him from the moment I started reading his blog, and I somehow knew that we would eventually be friends.  And over this past year, we have really gotten close, and I would say that I am developing some feelings for him that have me wondering just how emotionally attached I am to him.  I feel as if I can’t allow myself to fall for him completely, even though I very much want to.

I think the thing that holds me back the most is the fact that George is an atheist and so I don’t have that deep spiritual connection with him like I do with Luke.  But I do have a much more intense connection to him sexually because he opens up to me in a way that Luke has never allowed himself to.  If either of these men lived closer to me, there is no doubt in my mind that it would turn into a physical affair with either one, or both of them.  And I’m honestly sort of glad that there is a huge ocean separating them from me, or I think I’d likely find myself getting involved in things that would really just complicate my life.

Anyway, these are just examples of a few of the encounters I have had, and I’ll perhaps write more about this subject another day, and go into further detail.  What about you?  Do you ever feel like you instantly know someone right away when you meet them?  And if so, have you become intensely close to someone because of it?

© C.C. Bloom 2018

Swinging?

I usually don’t discuss topics on sexuality, except with a few of my closest friends. And when my friends and I do happen to discuss things of this nature, it’s quite freeing, and I enjoy how that feels.  This is one of the reasons why I created this blog because I want to be able to openly discuss things of this nature, without repercussions.

So to start with, I think that I’ve almost always enjoyed sex more than any partner I’ve ever been with, or at least it seems that way.  I have an insatiable appetite for it, and most of the men that I’ve been with over my lifetime, have usually failed to satisfy my needs.

I’m now married and have been for 20 plus years.  I have never physically cheated on my husband, nor do I plan to, but still, there is a part of me that has realized that I need more.  My husband is mostly impotent, and even with the little blue pills, he has a very difficult time keeping an erection for very long.  And don’t get me wrong, he does everything that he possibly can to try and satisfy me, but still, it just doesn’t seem to be enough for me.

There is also the fact that he is gone on business quite often, and so I rarely get to see him.  Sometimes he can be gone for as long as six months at a time, and so it’s difficult for me to get by on my own.  When he’s gone, I typically masturbate at least twice a day.  And when he is here, I would say we generally have sex at least 2-3 times a day, and we are creative in our endeavors since we usually start out strong, but then it sort of fizzles out in the end because of his physical issues.

In recent days, I confronted my husband and asked him if we could perhaps try to find a couple to do things with.  I think it would be great to find a couple around our age, who might be interested in being both long-term friends as well as lovers.  I would also like to find a couple who has similar interests.  My husband and I both love to travel, he’s into sports, and I’m into writing, drawing, and mostly anything artsy.  So to find a couple with those kinds of interests would be amazing.

He seems very open to the idea, and I did go as far as to ask him what he would think about letting a guy touch him.  He’d never really considered the idea, and yet he didn’t seem entirely against it.  I think I’d love to see another guy fuck him in the ass.  The thought of that is so sexy to me.  I just keep thinking about all the things we could explore sexually if we had another couple to do things with.  I’ve always wanted to feel what it’s like to have two cocks inside me at the same time, and I think I would rather enjoy kissing a woman and feel her rub her pussy up against mine.

These are all things I’ve never explored though, and so I really have no idea what it would be like, and I don’t consider myself bisexual, and I’ve never been particularly attracted to women, but for some reason, I do like the idea of exploring a woman in the presence of a man.  I realize that going down this road could be asking for trouble, but my husband and I are both so open-minded when it comes to sex, that I think this could really work for us.

I suppose only time will tell, but I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes.  I wonder if another couple might have reservations, seeing as how my husband struggles to perform.  But I also know for me, that this isn’t just about sex, but more importantly about having a connection with someone else.  I don’t just want to have sex with some random couple; I want there to be something more.  I can take care of my pussy on my own for as long as I need to, all in order to satisfy my daily urges, but what I’m really hoping for, is a deeper connection that goes beyond just the physical aspects.

I want a relationship with someone that can be built upon and perhaps grow into something so amazing, that I never imagined it could be possible.  I figure if I’m in my forties and desiring a relationship like this, then there’s bound to be another couple out there somewhere who feels the same way.  It’s really just a matter of finding them, and that’s what I intend to do.

Anyway, I’ve probably rambled on long enough for now, so I’ll leave this as an open discussion for anyone who wants to join in on the conversation.  I’d love to hear what you have to say on the subject, and if you have any advice, I’d genuinely appreciate your thoughts.  Thanks in advance.  -C.C.

© C.C. Bloom 2018

The Party – Part 3

Here’s the conclusion of The Party.  Enjoy!

 

The Party – Part 3

He very tenderly began exploring the soft, warm place between her legs. Having escaped the fabric that had held back the length of himself, he was now fully exposed to her, and he slowly began to tease her with the tip of his hard shaft. For a brief moment, he felt her body tense and started to back away, waiting patiently for her to respond. She reached down and carefully took hold of him, rubbing the wetness of herself over the length of him. He took a deep breath and then picked her up, carrying her over to a chair near the moonlit window. He set her down gently, pulling her hips toward the edge; and with a look of want and intense need, he lifted up her dress once more. She bit the bottom of her lip in apprehension and tried her best to relax against the back of the chair; all the while anticipating what he wanted to give her.

He continued to study her face. Uncertain of her readiness for such an intimate encounter. He willed her to spread herself for him and got down on his knees to tenderly touch the inner part of her thighs with his fingers. He lightly kissed her silky smooth skin and used his hands to hold her apart as he began to kiss her warm wet core. He was delighted by her soft moans and whimpers as he lovingly pleasured her. She tasted like warm honey, and he caught her beautiful blue eyes staring down at him with a look of want and need which mimicked that of his own. After being thoroughly explored, she was left breathless, but still eager for more. His warm lips began to work their way back up her body. She started to pull away slightly and found herself a bit shaky as she got to her feet.

She reached down and grabbed both of his hands and motioned for him to sit down on the chair. She didn’t hesitate to return the gift which he had given to her. She knelt down and took his fullness into her mouth. He let out a sudden gasp, as her tongue mingled with his flesh. Her hand firmly gripped the long length of him as she teased him with her tongue. She saw a look of satisfaction in his eyes which told her to keep exploring. She felt the tip of him becoming harder as she continued to pleasure him and her mouth tightened around him. She could taste the sweetness of him as he responded to the sensation of her warm wet mouth lovingly kissing him. Loosening her grip and sliding her mouth gently away from him, their eyes met in a knowing gaze.

She stood up and straddled him, carefully adjusting herself; rocking gently from side to side, as she lowered herself down on top of him. He could feel the tightness of her core pressing all around. She glided over him gently at first and then the intensity grew as they moved together. Her feet touched the floor, allowing her to have complete control of her movement and her thighs wrapped around his own as they began gathering momentum. He grabbed her from behind, pulling her in even closer, while she clasped her hands around his neck, kissing him passionately and without hesitation. Their bodies sank deeper into each other, and he relished the tightness of her against his hard erection. Unable to hold back any longer, he greedily filled her up, and at the same time he released into her, her core began to spasm as well. The sensations were overwhelming and left them both breathless in the end.

© C.C. Bloom 2018

Click here for part one or here for part two.

The Party – Part 2

Here’s the continuation of The Party.  Enjoy!

 

The Party – Part 2

Her breath caught for a brief moment as she realized somebody must be there with her.  She didn’t want to panic and feared what might happen if she alerted the person to the fact that she realized they were there.  So without further hesitation, she turned around to go back the way she came.  Suddenly a strong arm caught her around the waist, and she felt herself in a firm embrace.  The person who held her smelled of rich dark spices.  The fragrance overwhelmed her senses, and she immediately knew it was him.  She had always loved the way he smelled and had tried desperately in the past not to let his overpowering scent overcome her good judgment.  She could feel his body against her own, and felt his need for her.  She had tried avoiding him for months now, and yet always knew deep down that her attempts at eluding him were foolish; for she wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

Without a single word spoken, he reached down and smoothed back her auburn hair; carefully tucking the soft strands behind her ears.  He bent down and lightly grazed the delicate skin of her neck with his warm inviting lips.  She smelled of wood violets, and he inhaled her loveliness and reveled in the beauty of her as the moonlight cast its low light upon her fair skin.  His touch made her feel slightly dizzy, and she felt herself relaxing against his body.  His scent still overpowered her and left her feeling euphoric.  After the gentle kiss to her neck, his fingertips began to trace the lines of her face, and he lightly touched her soft wanting lips; causing her to let out a contented sigh.  He lovingly lifted up her chin, beckoning her to join him in a kiss which was long overdue.  Closing her eyes, she felt his firm lips brush gently against her own; creating a sensation of warmth which flooded her entire body.

Soft kisses teased her lips and left her breathless and wanting more.  As much as she felt his need for her growing, he did not attempt to force his will over her own, and with every kiss, he stopped in between, waiting for her to reciprocate the same passion and desire that he felt for her.  He could feel her body begin to melt against his own and he kissed her with greater intensity now.  The warmth of her pressing against him heightened his arousal and left him struggling to stay in control.  She wore a knee-length red dress, which caught his attention from the moment she walked into the party. He hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off of her since.  His hands slowly moved their way down her back, caressing her lovely form ever so delicately, finding a comfortable resting place on the back of her silky thighs.

He pulled her in closer as his mouth remained intent on discovering every square inch of hers.  She had no intention of trying to stop the passion which had finally ignited between them, and she felt hopelessly lost in his amorous embrace.  Tender kisses gradually traveled down her neck once more.  His lips pressed harder against her skin, and this time his teeth grazed the vein that ran down the length of her neck.  His tongue found pleasure too as it wielded its way down her body and tickled the flush skin of her chest; stopping only after reaching the opening of her low cut dress.  He pulled the material gently down, bringing her breast to his mouth, running his tongue ever so gingerly over her exposed flesh.  Her nipple was erect, and deliciously satisfying, causing his erection to become even harder.

She responded with a quiet, breathless moan as he continued to suckle her breast, and his body continued to reveal just how fierce his appetite was for her.  She could feel the full length of him between her thighs, with only the thin fabric of her dress, and his trousers, separating the warm, enticing flesh which lay beneath.  Her body responded to his ever-growing need, and he knew that she was ready to accept what he was offering.  He grabbed her hand, interlacing his fingers with her own, squeezing her hand gently in an attempt to send a silent message of his intense desire for her.  He then brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed the top of it ever so lightly.  He studied her face in the shadowy room, intent on learning what her true desire was.  Her eyes revealed the intense passion that she felt in return and he took her hand, sliding it down to the opening of his trousers, willing her to explore further.  He then began to lift up the front of her dress and was delighted to find that there was nothing left to remove.

© C.C. Bloom 2018

Click here for part one or here for part three.

New beginnings…

Well, here I am, staring at a blank white page, and feeling a little bit intimidated by the subject matter that I’m planning to share here. I’ve been a writer for a number of years now, and yet I’ve never really been able to share all that I’ve wanted to. So that’ll be the benefit of this blog for me. To be completely anonymous is something I’ve always wanted to do, but it’s hard to break away from the blogging community that I already know so well and love. I wonder… will they eventually find me here? And if they do, will they accept me as they have before? I suppose only time will tell. But for now, I’m here, and I plan to thoroughly enjoy having the freedom to share exactly what I want to. Most of what I post will likely be intended for adult eyes only, so if you have reservations about reading anything with mature content, then I’d advise you to please refrain from reading my posts. I’m starting this off with a short story that I wrote years ago, and I’m breaking this up into three parts. Enjoy!

 

The Party – Part 1

She caught a glimpse of his familiar face out of the corner of her eye. He had been making every attempt to capture her attention the entire night and yet she would not meet his gaze. After pretending she hadn’t seen him for the millionth time, she tried to figure out a way to leave unnoticed. The room was already jam-packed, and she knew that if she didn’t find somewhere to escape the deluge of people, that her anxiety would eventually get the better of her. She finally eluded her admirer’s stare by darting behind a couple who were so enthralled with one another, that they were completely oblivious to her presence. The couple continued to creatively explore each other and put on quite an illicit show for all who dared to watch. The sight of the couple’s apparent lack of discretion left her feeling nauseous, and she looked around for an escape route.

She soon spotted a hallway which looked as if it led to the mansions sleeping quarters, and with a quick look around, she tried to locate her stalker who seemed to have finally disappeared. She slipped out of the room, hoping she’d not been seen; glancing over her shoulder as she made her way down the long corridor. Rich tapestries hung loosely from the walls. Creating a sense of culture and wealth to which she was not accustomed. She made her way leisurely down the hall; taking in the grand façade and imagining what it must be like to live in such a handsome place. It dawned on her that if the hallway looked like this, then she could only imagine what else was behind the endless amount of rich mahogany paneled doors which seemed to stretch on forever. She searched for an empty room, yet all were either locked or contained behind them the sounds of laughter which she dared not disturb.

This was not the scene she was generally accustomed to, and she felt slightly guilty for exploring the mansion without permission. She needed a break from the chaos though and knew that if she went back to the party, she would surely have to face her admirer once again. Her elusive attitude made her all the more enticing to him, and he sought her out as if his life depended on it. Her resistance to him had nothing to do with his looks, for he was quite attractive. His brown eyes and smirky grin were enough to send her over the edge every time she caught a glimpse of him, which is why she had decided it was best to avoid him. He was overwhelmingly attractive; not only in looks but intelligence as well. She knew she could never be good enough for him and thought she was doing him a favor by keeping herself as far away from him as possible.

He seemed to follow her everywhere she went, and somehow had even managed to get transferred into the majority of her classes at UMN where they had both been attending for the last three years. As she continued on her way, she suddenly noticed a door which was slightly ajar and so she took a peek inside. The room was somewhat dark and lit only by the moonlight which filtered in through a large picture window on the far side of the room. Once her eyes began to adjust, she realized she was in the library. Its old dusty shelves towered over her and made her feel tiny in comparison. She was excited to find the one place in the house where she knew she would feel the most comfortable. After carefully closing the door behind her, she felt around for a light switch, and as she reached out towards the shadowed wall where she presumed one might be, her hand brushed up against something, or was it, someone?

© C.C. Bloom 2018

Click here for part two or here for part three.